What do you wish you knew earlier about love, relationship, and dating? We asked this question to real women in NYC area and got some interesting and wise answers.
1. There’s no prince charming
“I wish I knew earlier that a boyfriend or a husband is not the end goal of my life! I feel like more often than not young girls are bombarded with stories with a happy ending where prince charming saves the day. Or they are taught to do well in school so they could get a job and have a family and that’s the end. So I wish I knew earlier that a man was not going to make my life fuller.”
2. Look for diamonds in the rough
“…in your young 20s, dont expect the final product when you’re dating. at this age, you both are works in progress…but especially now, fresh out of college/graduate work…you are a newborn baby in adulthood, and just like babies, you’ll change, experience new things, change some more and ultimately mature. take that into account as you’re dating and evaluating others as potential people to date.”
3. Know your value
“Don’t settle. You’re too good to settle. Have faith and believe….Don’t settle. Ever.”
4. Do play hard to get
“being a little harder to get is actually helpful for me in the weeding out process. As my friend says, if they won’t try hard to get a date with you in the beginning, chances that they will stay to fight during rough times are just as low.”
5. Don’t cross boundaries
“Respect yourself and your bf/gf and don’t cross certain boundaries, such as name-calling, cursing, etc. Set those limits together and work hard at not losing the respect you need to keep them.”
6. In a way, it should be easy
“My relationships in my early 20s were always rocky and full of dramas, and I thought that was normal! Now I realize those weren’t some amazing, movie-like relationships…they were just unhealthy. It turns out, if it’s meant to be, many aspects of the relationship will just fall into place…Yes, certain things need work, but if you’re arguing all the time about the smallest things, then it’s probably time to move on.”
7. Be proactive
“I wish I had gone on more dates when I was younger. It’s much easier and more casual when you’re younger, and you simply get asked out more, too. But I was too, ‘Oh, I will worry about it later. I’m too busy now.’ But time passes by very quickly and the next thing I know, I was the only single person in my group of girl friends. Nothing wrong with focusing on career, but I was too arrogant and passive when it came to dating when there were many, many opportunities.”
With these words of advice, go forth and be bold!
Check out Single to Mingle and apply the newly-gained knowledge in your love life!